Virtual Relationship -- Let's Get Started
There is nothing to be ashamed of when using the Internet to find a virtual relationship. What starts out as a virtual relationship may work its way into true happiness. For those embarrassed about meeting someone online, don't be. Many people do it and many people end up happy in their virtual relationship. Don't knock it until you try it.
Finding a virtual relationship: Who does that?
Who uses the Internet as a tool for finding a virtual relationship? People of all ages, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds, although you can bet that most people with their own computers and Web access have higher-than-average income and education. Busy single professionals acknowledge having few opportunities to meet other available bachelors and bachelorettes outside the nightclub "meat market" environment.
Just about everyone seems decent on the other side of a keyboard! I believe the Internet, if used effectively, can be a great tool for screening out the freaks, weirdoes, neurotics and game players, and screening in people that live in your general vicinity that you might never otherwise meet.
One of the major concerns about the Internet is its integral anonymity and impersonality. A woman in New York City placing an ad on an Internet personals site for singles in her area must be prepared to be inundated with generic responses such as "Your ad is great. I live in Montana and raise sheep. I am 36 years old, fit, single and very horny. I'll love you right. How about meeting for a drink? I'll pay all expenses. Write back if interested."
In these instances, the parties have totally different goals and motivations for placing their ads. Some are more interested in quantity (how many ads they can respond to) rather than formulating sincere, quality responses. It's important not to let your hunger to meet someone rush you into anything just because it looks good on screen though. In the example given above, I'd think Mr. Montana used a mass mailer, or at least a cut and paste text file; but there are many women that would believe this man is sincerely interested in only them.
The door on virtual relationship is wide open for deception and emotional distance. How easy it is to deceive someone about ourselves when we are safely tucked away hundreds or even thousands of miles away. It's easy to hide our true selves behind the computer terminal and project ourselves to be whatever others want us to be.
"I've been talking to this guy online for two months; we finally decided to meet. The weekend was beautiful. And now he says he wants to end what we have. I don't understand, he treated me like a queen! He always sent me poems, tapes of songs, and cards. And we did everything on my 3-day visit. Is he just another Internet Lover?"
See, there you are on the receiving end of the projection, infatuated or "in love" with someone that you've never seen, touched, kissed, argued with, and never heard say a word! You may believe you have a relationship when all you really have is a well-scripted seduction in HTML form.
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